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Morticia: Do you think that when a new baby arrives, one of the other children has to die? Wednesday: Yes. Morticia: Children, do you think we love the baby more than we love you? Wednesday: Yes. Gomez: Children, why do you hate the baby? Pugsley: We don't hate him. But which one will bounce? Pugsley: The baby? Wednesday: There's only one way to find out. Wednesday: Which do you think? Pugsley: The cannonball? Wednesday: Very good. Which will hit the stone walkway first? Pugsley: I'm still on fractions. Wednesday: Pugsley, the baby weighs 10 pounds, the cannonball weighs 20 pounds. Morticia: Gomez, take those out of his mouth.

It's dark, it's depressing, it's desolate. Uncle Fester: Gomez! Grandmama: What news? Wednesday: Father, what is it? Gomez: It's an Addams! Delivery Room Doctor: Would you like anesthesia? Morticia: No, thank you. Wednesday: They had sex.ĭelivery Room Doctor: Push, Mrs. Young Girl: And then Mommy kissed Daddy, and the angel told the stork, and the stork flew down from heaven, and left a diamond under a leaf in the cabbage patch, and the diamond turned into a baby! Pugsley: Our parents are having a baby, too. Gomez: Are you in unbearable pain? Is it inhuman? My darling, is it torture? Morticia: Oui. Right now.ĭelivery Room Doctor: Nurse, how close are the contractions? Delivery Nurse: Every 15 seconds, doctor. Gomez: Cara mia? Morticia: Marvelous news.

Let us join in grief, rejoice in despair, and honor the fortunate dead. Morticia Pugsley Wednesday Uncle Fester Grandmama Lurch ĭebbie Jellinsky Joel Gary Becky Amanda Dialogue Wednesday: Come, sorrow we welcome thee. Are you in unbearable pain? Is it inhuman? My darling, is it torture?.

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